So, what am I doing here? First, let me state that I am not an artist. I have some innate artistic abilities, or at least some innate desire to have artistic abilities, but I've never been very good at translating what I see, feel, or think on the inside into something others can understand. I've tried other mediums such as writing (poetry and prose) and some film, but to no avail. I'm about as inhibited as they come.
I joined deviant art five years ago, posted a couple of very amateur attempts at photoshop art, and then forgot about the site. I started being active again a few weeks ago mainly out of a need for some sort of artistic expression in an attempt to validate my existence. I wanted to express what I could of myself in art in the vain hope that someone somewhere will like it and say, "That part of your soul, at least, is good."
And, while writing this, I realize no one is likely to bother reading it, but I need to make some of these thoughts tangible, to put them out there, so they don't just keep eating away at me. I just hope this all doesn't come across as whiny or pretentious. If it does, oh well, I am both whiny and pretentious.